“When she shall die,
Take her and cut her out in little stars,
And she will make the face of heaven so fine
That all the world will be in love with night
And pay no worship to the garish sun.” Shakespeare
“Perhaps they are not stars in the sky, but rather openings where our loved ones shine down and let us know they are happy.” Eskimo Proverb
i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go, my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling) – - e.e.cummings
“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief…and of unspeakable love.” ~Washington Irving
“There are no goodbyes for us. Wherever you are, you will always be in our hearts.” ~Mahatma Ghandi
I love and miss you mommy!!
I am not afraid to say that I really believe God speaks to us through signs and through other people. The key is you have to be spiritually aware, always listening and have a keen ear and the faith to understand it’s from HIM.
There have been many signs that have told me my mom is OK. Tons of gardenias – more than I’ve ever seen blooming when they should be pretty much done, her roses still in bloom, certain smells that I’m smelling when I shouldn’t be, sounds I hear when I shouldn’t be. One of three Christmas Cacti having only ONE bloom on it. One amazing bloom when they have hardly EVER bloomed. My mom loved to see the deer in our neighborhood. She was amazed by their beauty and she’d always get up from her chair and scurry to see them when I told her they were out. This year I have NEVER seen so many deer in our yard and in the grave yard across from us. The other morning before Mass there were 6 of them in the cemetary at 8 am. This was on Thursday morning before we left for Mass – The Immaculate Conception and mass for my mom. Then last night one with antlers was just staring at me – he was in the street just as calm as could be looking at me. You get the picture.
On October 31 – All Hallow’s Eve, I was at the cemetary. I was sitting there for a while – really struggling, talking to mom and just spending time with her. October 30 was my birthday and it was a horribly tough day. Mom’s stone had not been put in yet and there were summer flowers in the vase they gave us temporarily. I hated the fact that the stone wasn’t there – there had been a delay and I was wondering when it would be in. I decided to go to Hobby Lobby and create a Fall bouquet for her. I was gone for about 45 minutes. When I pulled into the cemetary there was a small tractor pulling away from the area where mom is. I pulled up, got out of my car and her stone had been installed when I was away. I was beside myself. I cried and cried and cried. What are the odds I’d go there, decide to leave for a while and when I returned the stone would be in? A gift from my mom.
We had a bird for many, many years. His name was Charlie. Charlie talked and loved to ring his bell. The Friday after the mass for the Immaculate Conception, I had Jackson outside at around 7 am. I brought him back in the house and hung my coat up. I heard Charlie’s bell as plain as day. However, what you do not know is that we gave Charlie away a week prior. His cage, his stuff and his bell were outside awaiting the garbage man. There was no bell in this house to be rung. There was no Charlie in this house to ring his bell. My mom’s favorite movie was “Its a Wonderful Life.” It is just like her to ring that bell for me as a sign. She knew I’d “get it.” Needless to say I was pretty amazed and very weepy. An angel got her wings. I believe that with every fiber of my being.
Then Saturday morning I was on Facebook. I never use the chat feature. I always keep it off but for some reason it always gets turned back on. My Uncle Les’s daughter Alicia chatted “Call me when you get a chance, I have something to tell you about your mom.” I called. She began to tell me that her son (3 yrs. old) A.J. was having lunch with my Uncle Friday afternoon. He looked at his grandpa and said “Poppa, your sister is in Heaven!” Keep in mind, A.J. is only just 3. He doesn’t know the relationship between my uncle and my mom. He just out of the blue tells my uncle this. He had my uncle crying. Alicia decided to question A.J. about this. So Saturday morning she asked him, “A.J. how do you know Aunt Kathy is in heaven?” He replied, “I saw her Momma. She just made it.” Out of the mouths of babes. A.J. knows nothing about our belief in Purgatory. “She just made it?” OMG! And it is just like my mom to come to visit A.J. She loved that little boy so much. She never met him but she loved him dearly. I think she loved him most because of the joy he gave her brother. Who else to let know that she was in heaven? A child that is too young to really “get it.” A child who would not be doubted. A child who was spiritually open and has that faith that we all should have. Be like little children. Jesus loves the little children! What a blessing! Merry Christmas everyone!